In the Absence of Care

Out of a deep sense of independence, and to mitigate debilitating arthritis in her left knee, my 85 year old mother, Nettie Bullock, decides to have a second knee surgery in as many years. I was wary about the surgery in the first place - I thought my mom’s age would lessen her ability to fully recover. But despite my misgivings, I supported my mom’s decision, and offered her support throughout her recovery. This film chronicles my mom's difficult healing journey, amidst ample resources and medical help, while exploring our mother/daughter dynamic. The day after surgery, my mom is ready to leave the hospital - a compulsion that proves almost deadly. Once home a few days later than she hoped, Nettie struggles to rest and allow her body to heal. When I inquire as to why she can’t seem to be patient with her recovery process, my mom has a revelation: she realizes that her need to get up and go only a few days home from the hospital is the result of unexamined childhood circumstances beyond her control, but which lead to a worldview that makes it hard for her to recognize or receive true care - even from her own daughter. The result is an unexpected journey into the sometimes murky depths of memory and regret for both of us.

Director | Natalie Bullock Brown
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